Identify the dream scenario

Become a better seller with a relational approach | Part 3: Identify the dream scenario

By: Rebecca Bergsland –

This is the third article in a series on how to become a better seller by building sustainable win-win relations with clients and potential clients. The discussed tools can be applied to any relationship in your work or private life.

Article overview:

  1. The relationship to yourself
  2. Identify the now
  3. Identify the dream scenario
  4. Become the bridge
  5. Bonus: Make it sustainable

Part 3: Identify the dream scenario

This series on how to become a better seller with a relational approach began by presenting three fundamental set of actions for personal development which all have the power to impact directly on your sales work. It was described how you can find your “why”, how you genuinely embrace the attitude to give and how you can be your own best example of the value of your services. The second article explained how you can start to build a solid foundation to a client relationship by establishing the current situation and use selective validation to mobilise the client into her/his (and your!) desired direction. Building on this, the third and following article will describe how to create motivation by identifying the client’s dream scenario.

So you have established the current situation. With the help of selective validation, you have also mobilised the client to act upon it. Hence, you have a starting point and a desire to adjust it or move away from it. Now you and your client need to know where to move towards. To find out, the next step is to identify the client’s dream scenario. A dream scenario is what we imagine in our heads when we think about what life would be like if everything was perfect or if we didn’t have that particular challenge or problem. This image affects our attitude towards getting up in the morning and is strongly correlated with motivation. As the dream scenario is unique for each and every one of us, you can only learn about it from your client.

How to identify the dream scenario

So how do you do it? There are many ways of discovering a dream scenario. Which one works better depends on the client’s preferences and personality as well as yours. Whatever you do, make sure it enables creative thinking – some people find it difficult to know what they truly want. Try one or more of these examples:

  • The magic question: Ask the client; “If you woke up one day and everything in your life was suddenly perfect, exactly the way you would like it to be and you didn’t have to worry about anything; what would your life be like? What would you do? Who would you be?”
  • The envy list: Have the client to write a list of people s/he is envious of. Then ask, for each person, what they have that s/he wants. Follow up by investigating the desired context to get the full picture of the dream scenario.
  • The end of life question: Be gentle and listening and ask the client; “If you knew you only had a year left to live and you had all the money and resources that you needed; what would you fill your days with?”
  • The more is more-question: This question is suitable if the client is more or less satisfied with their current situation. Ask the client; “What do you have in your life now that you would like to continue to have and what would you like to have more of?”

Whichever method you use, have the client to describe their dream scenario and make sure you get the full picture. Don’t be intimidated if s/he gets emotional. Emotional engagement can indicate the importance of the dream scenario, which in turn creates motivation to act towards it. Once the full dream scenario is identified, adding a symbol to it is often both practical and powerful. A symbol is something abstract or physical that sums up the whole dream scenario in a more compact concept. It could be a word, a label, a note in the wallet, a colour, a necklace, a piece of clothing, a painting or something else. Make sure you let the client choose a symbol that is right for her/himself. In this way, when you use the symbol to refer to the dream scenario it is not just convenient but it also boosts positive feelings and motivation.

When you have identified the current situation and the dream scenario you have two points, A and B. Additionally, you have created a desired direction: motivation to move from A to B. Hence, you and your client know where you are and where you want to go. Now it is time to define how to get there. How you become the bridge between the client’s point A and B.


This third article in the series Become a better seller with a relational approach has described how you can identify the client’s dream scenario and motivation to move towards it. Hereafter the fourth article will regard how you can become the bridge that the client needs to reach their dream scenario. The final and fifth bonus article will explain some simple yet very powerful techniques to make the relationship reciprocally beneficial and sustainable.

The author is Rebecca Bergsland; a professional coach and Business Communication Practitioner in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).

As the owner of Change Coaching & Consulting she is specialized in change processes, relations, and communication and is currently planning a new research project within the field of psychology.

What is your #1 insight from this episode? Please comment below.